It’s a shame the old reg Buttonshoes didn’t make it over here. While everyone thought he was a bitter cynic and unshakable pessimist, he wasn’t really wrong. Didn’t make him the most popular guy in a blogasphere full of homers, but he was mostly correct about Lovie, Emery, Trestman, Sweaty Teddy, and his #1 enemy whom he hated with the heat of a thousand supernovas – the McCaskeys.

So, in his honor, let’s take the skeptical tour of Ryan Poles’ FA

The Bears are a WORSE team now post-FA ’26.

Why? Glad you asked.
Brisker is gone. His backup [coming off INJ] is now the starter.
Wright is gone. Stevenson, who was benched for Wright, is now CB2.
Trapilo is down [for who knows how long]. TWO benched backups [in Benedet and Braxton] are now going to fight to be the starter.

That’s 3 backups now starting.

Byard, while old, is likely still better than Cobe Bryant. Byard lead the league in INTs with 7. That’s BETTER than ‘lockdown’ CBs like Jayce Horn [Second with 5].To put that in perspective, Mike Brown in that magical 2000 season racked up 5 INTs. Byard also never missed games; however, Bryant is no chump. He had 5 INTs last season, and is a versatile, smart, aggressive leader on a SB winning team. So, let’s be generous and call it a wash.

Nickel CB will be Mr. Glass, I mean, Spider-Man Gordon, but common.

We all know he’s going to miss half the season. Last year Bears signed CJ Gardner Johnson off the street, and he delivered. It could be argued he saved 2 games. In 10 games he had 2 INTs, 1 FF, 3 sacks, 5 QB hits, and 51 tackles. Not shabby. Like Wright, he struggled mightily in coverage, but will CJ’s replacement [Cam Lewis] impact wins like him?

On offense, I give Poles a slight pass. I don’t know if Dalman‘s retirement shocked him like us, but isn’t vetting in the job description of an NFL GM? Maybe that’s why other GMs passed on Dalman.

Trapilo getting INJed late season was another kick in the nads out of Poles’ control.

Nonetheless, results in the same. LT and C now are downgraded with Benedet and Bradbury. How do I know this? Because on Earth 2 Trapilo and Dalman are returning healthy and willing.

Both Edwards and Dayo [motivated or not] are coming off INJ-plagued ’25 campaigns. Unfortunately, they’re also “starters.”

Last yr WR1-DJ; WR2-Rome; WR3-Burden

This year Rome [who drops at least 2 per game and is terrible at the one thing he was drafted for – contested catches] is WR1, while our WR3 is Kalif Raymond; no matter how optimistic you are, you can’t convince me that Raymond is a superior WR3 than Burden. Of course, one can argue that All Day Jadhae is the WR3, but hey, he was our WR4 last year.

Bears’ TE3 also moved on, FWIW.

Bears’ Dline 31st in Pass Rush Win Rate%
– Rush D: 27th
– Sacks: 22nd [35 overall]

And that exact same Dline of Dayo-Dexter-Jarrett-Sweat returns, only older, battered and INJed! What can go wrong…

49ers whooping the Bears

Another little talked about ’26 FA factor to consider which I’m sure ButtonShoes would love.

The fact that the McCaskeys, on top of being imbeciles, are cash poor in an existential stadium struggle which may sap their NFL mojo. Our old friend Data asserts as much, and he’s not alone.

The LCD retort

Well, if Buttonshoes was the eternal pessimist, his yang was the eternal [Bears] optimist LCD. He was so optimistic, he even truly pushed that the Bears should build around Fields and pass on Caleb!

#DaHaul

A lesson for all, but I digress…

An optimist would spin it like this.

Poles isn’t so much cooking as simmering. He’s getting everything prepped and marinated, not over committing two 1sts for Crosby, or $100M to Hendrickson – heck, not even a measly 3rd for DT Osa Odighizuwa.

Slow and steady, like the turtle.

Jarrett was INJed last year, performing better towards the end. Sweat is durable. Posted 10 sacks. Dexter great penetrator [that’s what she said], while Dayo can’t be worse, and Booker still filling out.

Bryant, Bush, Jackson, et al are young, hungry and fast. Most importantly, they’re BJ-Allen guys. More we Flush the Fluseez, the better.

Poles may have sucked ballz with Eberflus, but with BJ, they drafted fantastically, often rated as an “A” or “A+” selecting Loveland, Burden, Trapilo and Monangai.

Bears own 4 picks in top 90. If they draft as well in ’26 on Defense, holy smokes, that’ll go a long way while saving cap for possible trade-deadline studs.

NTM that this new regime has proven it can basically coach up anyone – Wright, CJGJ, Jackson, Trapilo, Monangai…so while the new crew on paper may not seem as sexy, CJ/Allen/Harris/Roushar will max their potential.

By nature, I’m not a ‘hot take’ kinda guy. I’m more akin to The Dude, and he always abides.

So, I’m not going to sit here and waste psychical energy morphing into either ButtonShoes or LCD. In my younger days, I actually cared about being right, and not just being right, but proving it to the unconverted.

Now? Well, maybe my zeal’s flaccid, but “winning” and bathing in TigerBlood about relatively trivial minutia barely moves my pulse.

For all we know, Caleb tears his ACL in August, or Myles Garrett finally forces his way out in October and Poles swings a deal – in either case, all this March Madness and angst turns moot.

For now the only thing I certainly know is that our Dline MUST improve, but at the same time, BJ/Caleb will likely take it up another notch.

ButtonShoes/LCD, Sith/Jedi, Ying/Yang. This is the way…