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  • POST-PS GAME #1

    POST-PS GAME #1

    Browns 10, Bears 34 Final.
    The most important result was the INJ list, and it SEEMS the Bears didn’t suffer any significant INJs due to the 1st PS game.

    Noah Sewell was the only INJ I observed in-game, but he seems to be OK.

    Sean Hammond@sean_hammond
    Bears LB Nephi Sewell is down and in a lot of pain. His teammates have all taken a knee.

    Worst part of preseason football.
    12:44 PM · Aug 15, 2026
    · Sewell just popped up and walked off the field on his own. A good sign.

    Ozzy Wolverine Trapilo was activated off PUP. what da what…

    Ari Meirov@MySportsUpdate
    Just some context on how insane this is:

    A ruptured patellar tendon is one of the toughest injuries for an NFL player to come back from. It usually requires close to a year of recovery.

    It’s especially difficult for an OL because of the constant force and explosive knee extension required on every snap.

    Trapilo ruptured his in January and is already off PUP in August.

    That’s not normal.

    Didn’t happen during game but practice, but again, Monangai seems to be ‘fine’.
    Adam Schefter@AdamSchefter
    Bears RB Kyle Monangai, who left practice today after injuring his knee, is believed to be “fine”, per source. Initial tests showed his knee to be structurally sound, but the team will do an MRI to confirm
    That being said, if Monangai is NOT fine, well, HB Salvon Ahmed and Brittain Brown looked rock solid to me.

    Butch’s quick-hits on PS GAME #1

    Winding down. Quick reaxs before I jump in pool.

    Overall good.
    Kromah impressed
    Returners didn’t
    Bagent efficient w drags and short routes
    Oline mixed bag
    D got it together but maybe that was after 3rd stringers entered
    #36 [Ahmed] HB play of game. Great instincts + some jets.
    Bishop two INTs. Floaters but they count.
    TO mentality on D
    Dagger mentality on O

    My biggest takeaway? The Bears FEEL different. Last year around this time, plenty of consternation, feeling out, uncertainty, everyone more or less expecting a down year to get acclimated. It was like going on your first date, or the 1st round of a boxing match, or making your first big sale

    This year, It’s like the Wolf of Wallstreet selling you a fucking pen. The Bears are EXPECTED to excel. Shit, PFN ranked them #6 in power rankings!

    The team looks like they’re expecting it too. The players were hustling. No loafing. Making hits. Rallying to ball. Punching for TOs. Swatting for strips. Trying to break tackles. Diving to pin Browns at 1. More or less clean play esp surprising for a 1st PS game. When Ahmed made that big play, stadium erupted. When Bears stopped Browns on 4rth, the sideline began jumping up and down.

    This team is ALL-IN, and it’s awesome.

    Here’s another recap from Clay Harbor
    Just finished the All-22 from Bears/Browns. Here are some takeaways:

    ▪️ Jamree Kromah had a monster game. He has some athletic limitations, but he’s relentless. His bend and burst off the ball consistently showed up. Variety of pass rush moves held up against the run too. He will an interesting guy to watch [he looked a lil undersized for an Allen Dlinemen, but he was omnipresent].

    ▪️ James Lynch lined up everywhere across the front. High motor, tough to move and a crafty, physical player.

    ▪️ Jordan van den Berg showed what he’s shown all camp: physical, explosive and relentless. He has technique to clean up, but his combination of burst, bend and strength is uncommon for a rookie.

    ▪️ Neville Gallimore came to play. Tough, physical game. [He’s a lot bigger than I envisioned. He’s our new Billings.]

    ▪️ Gervon Dexter played only eight snaps, but wasn’t great. He was moved too often in the run game struggled against dbl teams (finished with a defense-low 44.0 PFF grade.)

    ▪️ Good to see Dayo Odeyingbo back, but he still looked like he was working through the injury. He was blocked by TEs one on one multiple times. That can’t happen for a player with his size.

    ▪️ The LBs were flying around. D’Marco Jackson was fast and physical quick recognition. Ruben Hyppolite II, Jack Sanborn and Nephi Sewell all played well. Devin Bush looked solid in 10 snaps. It will be interesting to see how this LB battle shakes out.

    ▪️ Malik Muhammad showed up in run support. He allowed a couple of catches, but thought the rookie played well.

    ▪️ Theo Benedet was solid all day.

    ▪️ Kiran Amegadjie had a very rough outing. The traits are obvious, but he was repeatedly beaten in pass pro. Had an offense low 44.8 overall and 33.9 pass-blocking grade. He has to get better quickly to make the 53.

    ▪️ Jedrick Wills Jr. was up and down. He was late off the ball on the sack, but had some good reps and showed pop in the run game. The consistency has to improve.

    ▪️ Logan Jones started slowly but finished strong. You can see why the Bears like him. He’s quick, strong and finishes every rep.

    ▪️ Kaden Davis keeps making plays. His speed shows up on tape: 4.44 40, 1.52 10-yard split and 4.15 short shuttle.

    ▪️ Ray-Ray McCloud looked good in 31 snaps. Scotty Miller, who has had a strong camp, also played well in 26. Maurice Alexander had a drop but was solid otherwise had made plays all camp. Still like JP Richardson. Plays very hard competitive player.

    How many receivers do the Bears keep?

    ▪️ Salvon Ahmed is quick, runs hard and has good hands. His battle with Roschon Johnson will be interesting.

    ▪️ Sam Roush looked good played hard. Hayden Large can block. He had quality reps at fullback and in line.

    All-in-All, solid outing. I know it’s only one PS game, but I’m starting to feel like that early 90s Bulls’ team when I simply assume a well-oiled machine to eventually impose its will against sloppier teams.

    Feels nice to be at the other end of that as a Bear fan. Been a spell. [ Queue fight song…]

  • PS Game 1. Bears v Browns

    PS Game 1. Bears v Browns

    WEEK 1 · Sat 08/15 · 12:00 PM CDT: Chicago Bears Network on FOX32; ESPN Chicago (English) | WVIV (Español)

    Friendly reminder, NFL only has 3 [not 4] PS games now, and a majority of teams tend to sit everyone.

    Used to be. Game 1, starters get a couple drives.
    Game 2, starters play at least 1 QTR.
    Game 3, starters play til 3 QTR to get used to halftime.
    Game 4, all starters sit, scrub bowl.

    Now it’s a bit less formulaic and more idiosyncratic. Ben Johnson specifically prefers sitting most projected starters. He apparently rides them hard in practice, so perhaps this is his way of balancing it out.

    As such, Caleb is sitting vs Browns, and Burpee Champ Tyson Bagent is set to start.

    Not sure we’ll see much of Caleb this PS, and if BJ isn’t going to roll out the starting Oline, that’s the way it should be.

    That being said, it’s not as if our Oline is rock solid either. Last year it was the same 5 – set it and forget it.
    This year much more question marks.

    LT Battle – Braxton Jones, Jedrick Willis, Kiran Amegadjie

    The only bright side is that Trapilo seems ahead of schedule on his INJ, but WTH knows what that means?

    Due to the shocking Drew Dalman retirement, Center murky too.

    Garrett Bradbury was the FA insurance, but I’m certain BJ wants to get a loooong look at rook Logan Jones.

    I know Theo Benedet is all but forgotten, but he did start at LT, and I’m curious how he’ll perform. Maybe he bulked up or gained more power after a year of an NFL diet and training?

    Since Mr. Glass-Gordon is out at NB, Cam Lewis will go. I’m not expecting much TBH. Most think he’s a CJ Gardner-Johnson jack-of-all-master-of-none archetype [sans the penchant for turnovers].

    Naturally, like everyone, I’m esp excited to gauge the rooks, specifically SS Dillon Thieneman. Camp chatter espoused that he looked the part. Scouting reports frame him as a vet-type rook. Wanna see how smart and fast he plays.

    Speaking of fast, same goes for SWR Zavion Thomas. Hopefully, his speed transfers to the next lvl AND ideally he can, you know, CATCH the ball. If a ball bounces off his hands, we’ll all get Velus Jones/Tyler Scott flashbacks. It would also make sense for Thomas to get return reps.

    TE Sam Roush is another investment siphoned away from Dline, so he better not debut like Kellen Davis or Adam “Baby Gronk” Shaheen.

    But the Belle of the Ball may be 3T Jordan van de Berg. Been hearing how he’s tearing it up all summer; well, now we get to witness if he’s a hit or hype. To say we desperately NEED dline fortification is an understatement. Who was the last Bears’ DT to out-play his draft grade?

    PUP List:
    LT Ozzy Trapilo, NB Kyler Gordon, S Elijah Hicks, LB Keyshaun Elliot, LB Noah Sewell, DL Shemar Turner [fuck, forgot about him].

    Ironically, might be more intrigued by the Browns – specifically, the shit show which is their QB room. Shedeur Sanders, Watson, Dillon Gabriel…supposedly their WRs have been popping in PS, so should be a good test vs our MASH secondary.

    Also get to watch S Emmanuel McNeil-Warren whom many mocked to Bears.

    Frankly, as long as everyone walks off the field, I’ll be happy.

    Bear down. Football is back, baby!

  • Cooked Calves

    Cooked Calves

    Written by Ghost of Joe Anderson.

    [Whatever happened to ole Joe…anywho, think this is a valid concern we all share to one degree or another]

    I’ve sat quietly by this offseason with reserved optimism for this years’ squad. My main concerns being the complete void of true pressure on the QB by our edge rushers and at least one interior D lineman. Our run D was rough last year, and I just don’t know if we did enough to stop the bleeding. That combined with the removal of every player to have a takeaway from last years’ D caused some extra concern.
    Losing Bryant for 2 months minimum and Gordon is a crushing blow to the D. My gut is telling me that Gordon will play 4 games this year at a highly reduced capacity. His calves are cooked.
    So my hopes turned to the O but losing DJ Moore followed by the loss of Burden to a groin injury in the fucking last play of the practice makes me want to puke. Groins don’t heal. They turn into hammys and calves. Then Zavion Thomas just hurt his knee. I feel like a Packers fan with all of the injury complaints. We do probably have the most consequential injuries in the whole league based on just camp issues.

    Poles has to decide if he’s going to allow this season to be squandered. I just don’t know if picking through the recycling bin on cut day is going to be enough.

    [Butch take. No team will admit they’re tanking even though we know they are. I know BJ and the coaches aren’t conceding the season, but gotta wonder if Poles simply thinks NEXT year is the true run, esp after the Rams stole Garrett and likely will get Donald. Naturally, the counterpoint is that Poles evaluated Dayo/Jarrett tape and actually concluded they’d help the Bears win a SB].

    Twitter Tues….

    Cowherd is like that EX who is sweet one day, but cold and distant the next. He can’t make up his mind if he wants to gargle or spit…

    Luckily for BJ, he’s not married to a Supermodel with a brazilian yoga teacher like Brady!

    Adam Schefter@AdamSchefter
    ·22h
    Chicago WR Luther Burden III is expected to miss the preseason due to the strained groin injury he suffered Saturday, but the Bears believe he should be back for the team’s regular-season opener vs. the Panthers, per sources.

    Dave@davebftv
    ·21h
    Bears LT Ozzy Trapilo might be back sooner than expected according to Albert Breer.

    He tore his patellar tendon in the wild-card round. This would be a massive development for the Bears.

    [Not holding my breath].

  • Aug 7, 2026 FRI

    Aug 7, 2026 FRI

    Something came up quick, so gonna post earlier than usual that way I won’t have to lug around my laptop.

    Bears signed a vet safety Xavier Woods. Likely to keep Thieneman at SS, and Cam Lewis at NB [since Mr. Glass-Gordon remains dubious] while placing DB Dallis Flowers [who?] on IR.

    Woods is a journey-man band-aid for now. For some reason, the Bears’ secondary always drop like flies. Maybe keeping iron-man Byard one more season was the way to go as now Halas has to juggle the roster and cross their fingers.

    Here’s Fishbain‘s camp observations. Spoiler alert, impressed with Da Berg but wonders about the Oline.

  • Coby Bryant Out

    Coby Bryant Out

    So, Coby Bryant, the Chicago Bears’ starting free safety, is sidelined for 8-10 weeks due to a knee injury sustained during training camp on August 3.

    The injury involves a hyperextended knee, bone bruise, and small fracture, with no surgery expected. So roughly out til Oct. Gotta wonder if they’ll move the rook Dillon Thieneman over to FS. I don’t really like repositioning rooks. 1st yr hard enough. More deets…

    Via Cbear via ESPN via con Dios…

    Reporter was in camp the day it rained.

    Best thing I saw/heard: I attended a sodden day of practice in Chicago, and the individual period was inside as the Bears let the rain abate. Only after enough weather had cleared the area did 7-on-7 and 11-on-11 move outside, where a drenched field made for difficult cuts and slip-n-slide falls. There were procedural penalties and drops. It didn’t seem like a day for big conclusions.

    Only one player seemed totally immune: Coby Bryant, the Bears’ big free agent add at safety. He was everywhere Saturday. His interception on Caleb Williams‘ deep throw to Maurice Alexander was a thing of beauty. As Williams read the Bears’ split-field coverage and loaded to throw the seam route to Alexander, Bryant whipped out of his angle and drove to the middle of the field, tracking the ball better than Alexander and catching it at extension. He had two more pass breakups on the day, including a driving deflection on a crossing pattern from Rome Odunze.

    Unfortunately, Bryant was carted off the field during Monday’s practice. ESPN’s Adam Schefter reported that no surgery is expected for a knee hyperextension, bone bruise and small fracture, but he will be out for 8-10 weeks. That would set Bryant behind the eight ball in learning coordinator Dennis Allen’s defense and developing chemistry with a fellow newcomer at safety, first-round pick Dillon Thieneman.

    Veteran free agent Cam Lewis, who spent time at first-team slot corner and second-team safety during my time at camp, stepped in for Bryant at first-team safety Monday. He has good versatility but not nearly the processing speed or hitting power of Bryant. The Bears were already lighter at linebacker, having released Tremaine Edmunds to sign Devin Bush. They’re also thin in the defensive front, where they need a key pass rusher to emerge. Now with the Bryant injury, the questions on a defense that was extremely reliant on turnovers last season are becoming difficult to ignore.

    I saw a lot more Sam Roush with the first team than I expected. The rookie tight end out of Stanford was a draft darling of mine. At 6-foot-6 and 267 pounds, with a rugby background, Roush is capable of displacing defensive ends in one-on-one assignments. The Bears experimented with No. 3 tight end Durham Smythe as a fullback in 2025, and I’d wager we see Roush in that role — with increased frequency — in 2026. Smythe had 335 snaps throughout the regular season and playoffs. Roush might push 400.

    If he’s biting into anyone’s snaps, it should be from Cole Kmet rather than Colston Loveland. Loveland is the sun of the Bears’ solar system of receivers, and he’s a great pair with Roush, who can line up inside Loveland as a blocker more readily than Kmet can. Roush and Kmet might split too many snaps for either to be fantasy viable … and the same issue could be present at No. 3 receiver.

    I saw Alexander, Kalif Raymond and Jahdae Walker all get first-team reps. Third-round rookie Zavion Thomas was mostly with the second team, but given his ball-in-hand ability, it’s fair to expect him to take snaps early as a decoy player at the very least. The Bears were not particularly deep at wide receiver last season, as DJ Moore and Odunze dominated the snap counts; Olamide Zaccheaus and Luther Burden III rotated behind them. Walker was fifth on the team in receiver snaps with 86, but I’d be stunned if that happens again. After Burden and Odunze, the receiver to draft in fantasy is likely Raymond … but I wouldn’t be surprised if that role was much more rotational than it was in 2025.

    Best of the rest:

    On a day in which everyone’s cleats seemed stuck in the mud, Thomas still flew. He created some yards after the catch on a crossing pattern and scored on a quick-out breaker. He’s built like a track athlete and will get used like one this season. I’ll bet you a sandwich he scores a 50-yard touchdown on some reverse or screen or trick play before the season is out.

    The wet field seemed to dramatically impact Burden and Caleb Williams — there was one segment of 11-on-11 in which Williams targeted Burden three times and got three incompletions for his trouble — one clear miss, one clear drop and one that was somewhere in the middle. The people I spoke to are still shining with enthusiasm for Burden, so I’ll chalk the bad day up to the weather.

    I was surprised to learn that second-round rookie Logan Jones has not cracked the first-team rotation at all, with veteran Garrett Bradbury manning the center position uncontested. So it seems clear that the Bears want to start the season with Bradbury, giving him every rep necessary to get up to speed. “It is not easy to play center in our scheme,” offensive coordinator Press Taylor said. Then he repeats it in case I didn’t get it: “It is not easy to play center in our scheme.”

    The Bears’ running game improved dramatically over the course of Johnson’s first year: 42.9% success rate in the first eight weeks, 50.8% in the final eight weeks. That was the best in the NFL. Taylor told me they garnered a lot of feedback midseason from the offensive line veterans (Drew Dalman, Joe Thuney) about how to make communication and identification easier. Kmet told me that Ben Johnson leads the running game install during the week, which he had never seen even an offensive coordinator do before, let alone a head coach. Williams might be on the cover of Madden, but you can hear the pride in every Bears member’s voice when talking about their running game. It’s the core of the offense.

    In other news, Darnell Wright got PAID. This is the way it should be – target quality players, lock them up quickly without Jerry Jones’ drama – set and forget. Done.
    Creates good mojo and sends positive message to the rest in that locker room grinding.

  • 2023 Draft

    2023 Draft

    Rule of thumb is one needs at least 5 years to properly judge a draft, but I think we can grade it now [Philly also just paid Jalen Carter four-year, $152-160M].

    What say ye?

    A.
    B.
    C.
    D.
    F.

  • ’26 Camp Day 2

    ’26 Camp Day 2

    Things heating up literally and figuratively. Back at the height of DBB, we used to have a few locals who actually attended some of the camp sessions. Can’t remember exactly, but I think both GP and Data provided some boots on the ground intel, and that’s good, cuz Jeff, like moi, lives out of state.

    Not sure camp these days are quite as fun as they once were. I saw some reporters grumbling that teams, for the most part, no longer allow them to observe their true stuff. I think before they were with the understanding that they can’t provide too much detail, film or photograph – in other words – to become defacto spies for opponents. Murky about how that dynamic works now.

    TBH, I never really dug into the weeds here since like most, I barely cared and simply relied on the local reporters [or regs] to relay camp info.

    As such, here’s such a summary from the best Bear beat IMO – Clay Harbor. Since he’s a former NFLer, he knows the Xs and Os, but he also provides much needed context always with the macro in mind. So here’s his Camp Day 2 [Weds] impressions.

    ‘It was more competitive…Rome, Burden, Raymond, good showing…O seems ahead of D…Ton of motions, double shifts [bit surprising for this stage of install. Might be a good sign how in sync they are already]…Caleb excellent”

    ‘Dennis Allen ain’t slowwalking either. For playing a new FS, SS, LB, Nickle [more on that later], Rook CB – he’s running a bunch of diff coverages, man, zone, blitzes, and Caleb went to right place every time’

    ‘Spider Man out in theatres, just not Chicago camp. NB major concern w/out Gordon. It’s like you’re waiting on the Redline. You need to have a backup up plan cuz you don’t know when it’s showing up or IF it’s showing up. A lot of those catches were on NB. Cam Lewis a lot like Gardner-Johnson. Jack of All, Master of None. Rookie Malik Muhammed played 93% of college snaps on the outside; NB might be hardest position outside QB. [Let’s not forget how GB ruthlessly attacked a half-powered Gordon last season, over and over and over again].

    Christian Watson, Jayden Reed, Ammon-Ra, J.Jefferson, Jordan Addison…gonna be licking their chops attacking slot.

    Might need to hit the market if Gordon is out-out or crippled.

    Bush got beat too [hehe]

    [It’s ONLY one camp, but something to stash because while Edmunds wasn’t S-tier slashing down-hill, he sure as fuck could cover]

    Dayo seems healthy, at least. That’s the good news. The bad? Well, motivated or not, Dayo has notched 1 sack in last 18 games [including with Colts], and that 1 sack was vs a backup OT.

    To quote The Irishman, “I’m more than a little concerned.”

    Here’s another take from ESPN and Thayer. Apparently, Caleb has slimmed 15 pounds and feels great. Sometimes I worry about QBs being a lil too svelte. Some chunk can cushion hits. Did you know that in Ancient Rome the Gladiator wasn’t some cross-fit freak. He was much more likely to resemble a 50s wrestlers than say, The Ultimate Warrior! Reason being – Girth=protecting vital organs more. If you get shanked, some blubber between can save. Then again, Gladiators didn’t own flak-jackets. Be interesting to see if Caleb runs even faster because I think he hit 20MPH on a dead sprint last season. He’s one of those players like Jerry Rice whose gameday speed clocks faster than his timed 40.

    I also love how BJ apparently sat Caleb down and reviewed EVERY incomplete and assigned blame. How great is that if true? Finally, some accountability. Caleb has the type of personality to take it too. He won’t see it as an attack but as a diagnostic tool to make him win those 6+ rings he craves. Holy smokes, imagine if a Martz did that to Cutler!

    Dooooon’t caaarree!!!

    It’s important to remember they’re padless right now. Come MON, padded practices, then game on, esp for the bigguns. Unfortunately, that’s also when INJs skyrocket, so gotta track that too.

    Can almost smell the freshly cut grass.
    Bear Down.


  • Brief Season Preview ’26

    Brief Season Preview ’26

    Camp kicked off, and it appears everyone is posting season previews. Seems waaaay too early at this point; I prefer doing them late Aug after INJs, trades, bottom of barrel signings…but hey, who am I to argue with the industry?

    They make a good point about Bush. We assume he’ll be at least on par with Edmunds, but maybe we should slow our roll.
    Edmunds was too reactive for my taste. He made more sense with the original HC/DC Flus whose D in general was more passive. Allen by contrast likes attacking D. We saw how the LBs, despite being backups, flew around more when both Edwards and Edmunds were out. Hopefully Bush and Co fit that mold more, but was Bush merely a byproduct of Gym Shorts’ very specific scheme?
    Thieneman is definitely a high-upside prospect, but that’s all he is right now – a hard 7. He’s more of a fit than cautious Brisker, that’s for sure.
    Byard was a proven commodity, leader, and secondary general – maybe the best since MB at FS.
    That’s a lot for anyone to fill, esp in the TO dept, but I expect FA Coby Bryant to hold his own. Besides, I trust coach Harris to squeeze the most out of that secondary. That being said, I have been refraining this since last summer: TRADE Gordon ASAP before he tears his hammy rolling over in his sleep.

    I won’t go over the Dline since it’s beating a deadhorse, but Steve and Sam both agree that Sweat can’t carry it by himself. He’s no Garrett, and both wonder aloud if the run D will improve.
    Vito Vea demanded a trade, and many are connecting him to the Bears because of their shaky run D, albeit Vea allegedly wants to play his back 9 on the west coast, so who knows where his head is at – is he still chasing a championship, or cruising the rest of the way?

    We know the deal on O. It should match last year’s production; however Braxton at LT and whoever replaces Dalman could be viewed as a step down. Everyone’s counting on Caleb’s 2nd year in BJ’s system to make up for it, but never know. Still, many studies have shown that great QB play affects Olines more than the other way around – that’s why it almost didn’t matter who the Colts drafted at oline during the Peyton years because that sack rate was going to be low, and comp% high almost regardless.

    The ever mercurial DJ Moore is gone, so I guess we don’t have to see him dog it during the summer, or late season routes, yet make miraculous catches on one good leg. Nevertheless, I believe in Harvey Dent-Burden! Rome with one foot is another issue [I doubt Rome gets extended], and maybe this is why BJ wanted insurance in Khalif Raymond and Zavion Jones, ntm TE Sam Roush. BJ will scheme em open, and Caleb will hit em, and the machine should keep rolling.

    The over under is currently set to 9.5 wins for Bears. If you don’t think the TOs and miracle comebacks can be replicated, or that Caleb stalls at sub-60% comp, then take the under.

    If you Bearlieve that TOs don’t fall off too much, that the late game magic continues, and that Caleb enters the S-tier of MVP convo, then take the over and book the playoffs.

    I wonder how much a long snapper moves the line…

  • Monday Minutia

    Monday Minutia

    Camp is about to kick off, so when there’s something to update more than summer names we’ll never hear again, I’ll report. For now, some random twits.

    Wright seems like he’s one of those players who’s always dealing with some nagging INJ, nevertheless, still trucks through it. If we ever get a truly healthy season from him, watch out. Could be our Sewell.

    Look how young and skinny Peppers looks! Man, forgot that he actually split time between basketball and football, and still the Panther’s drafted him #2 overall. What a stud.

    Caleb modeled his game after Rodgers, and the TD/INT ratio is DEF great to emulate. Although some critiqued Rodgers for being TOO cautious at time, accusing him of caring more about his stats than winning. I doubt we have to worry about that with Caleb.

    Some Burden goodness!

    Oof – this is a hard choice. Of those 4, I may vote for Maximus. HOWEVER, I’d like to give honorable mention to the armor [esp the golden one] in “Excalibur”

    [TMI “Excalibur” is what my Ex called my wang!]

    We always go down this road. The athletic try-hard underdog. Maybe we can rename it the Theo Benedet-Jesper Horsted – Sanzenbacher white chocolate hopium effect.

    “Never tell me the odds.” – Han Fucking Solo

    Austin Powers flashbacks sounds….friendly reminder to take all the hype with a GIGANTIC grain of salt – and if you’re Romo, use that salt for Tequila shots.

  • Odyssey: Sea Peoples

    Odyssey: Sea Peoples

    Read this before you watch The Odyssey: [Spoiler? I mean, you had 2K+ years to read Homer or watch “Troy”. GTFO!]

    • Agamemnon was the most powerful king in Greece.
    • His brother, Menelaus, was the king of Sparta.
    • Menelaus was married to Helen, whose beauty was legendary [“White armed”] across the ancient world.
    • In the city of Troy lived Prince Paris and his brother Hector, Troy’s greatest warrior.
    • Paris met Helen and the two left Sparta together for Troy.
    • Menelaus saw this as a grave insult and asked the Greek kings to help him bring Helen back.
    • Agamemnon united the Greek kingdoms and launched a massive invasion of Troy.
    • This conflict became known as the Trojan War.
    • Many legendary heroes fought in the war, including Achilles, the greatest Greek warrior, and Odysseus, the clever king of Ithaca.
    • While Achilles [& Ajax] was famous for his strength, Odysseus was famous for his intelligence and strategy.
    • The war lasted 10 years and neither side could win.
    • Finally, Odysseus came up with a brilliant plan: the Trojan Horse.
    • The Greeks hid soldiers inside a giant wooden horse and pretended to sail away.
    • The Trojans brought the horse into their city, believing it was a gift.
    • That night, the hidden Greek soldiers opened the gates of Troy, and the Greeks captured the city.
    • The Trojan War was over. End of Iliad start of Odyssey.
    • After that, Odysseus begins his long journey home.
    • That journey filled with gods, monsters, shipwrecks, temptation, and loss is called The Odyssey.
    • And that’s what the film is about.

    Needless to say, I watched Nolan’s “Odyssey” earlier this week. I went on supersaver Tues, assuming we’d have the theater to ourselves. NOPE. It was actually packed. I also assumed this would be a total dad-flick with the majority of the audience being bearded and bifocaled, old arcane classical, lit majors or history buffs – like moi – also wrong. The crowd was mixed. Young, middle aged, elderly, of every persuasion, even a few hotties. My nephews went with their friends to watch it on opening night, so still hope my fellow grumpy erudite kin!

    That being said, I had VERY mixed feelings about the movie itself, and it basically kicks you in the nuts in the very first scene before you even get a good hand of popcorn; however, more on that in the actual review.

    For now, I came across this fantastic doc on the ever mysterious “Sea Peoples” which the film alludes to. They were more or less like the Bronze Age Vikings, and much like the Vikings, were expert sea terrorists, ravaging, raping and pillaging wherever they landed, and not much was really known about them for centuries. This is a concise history of them.

    Here’s another by the ever-excellent Kings & Generals channel.

    In the movie, they were casted as the archetype of chaos which would consume the ‘civilized’. They were Vandals, the Vikings, The Barbarians, the Eastern Horde…every culture has their ‘other’ which they fear will doom their way of life. The Sea Peoples where the Bronze Age boogeymen, an alien savage threat from beyond the outer-rim.

    But “clever” Odysseus realizes that they were only an external threat, and external enemies can be combatted. Odysseus recognizes, too late, that the TRUE enemy of civilization is internal – namely, the erosion of goodwill, honor, hospitality to the stranger – keeping “Zeus’ Law.” Odysseus knew when he built the horse that he essentially sacrificed all that was “Greek” to win, and his ‘victory’ exacted a tremendous cost to himself, his crew, his home, and ultimately, Golden Greece itself: the Sea Peoples were the avenging instruments to the Gods much in the same way the ancient Hebrews casted the Assyrians, Babylonians, and even Romans. Odysseus and Greece betrayed their covenant in Troy, and for that they were smoted and never again the glory of the world.

    “Leda and the Swan“

    By William Butler Yeats

    A sudden blow: the great wings beating still
    Above the staggering girl, her thighs caressed
    By the dark webs, her nape caught in his bill,
    He holds her helpless breast upon his breast.

    How can those terrified vague fingers push
    The feathered glory from her loosening thighs?
    And how can body, laid in that white rush,
    But feel the strange heart beating where it lies?

    A shudder in the loins engenders there
    The broken wall, the burning roof and tower
    And Agamemnon dead.
    Being so caught up,
    So mastered by the brute blood of the air,
    Did she put on his knowledge with his power
    Before the indifferent beak could let her drop?