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  • Camp Took a Bad Turner

    Camp Took a Bad Turner

    Padded practices are here, but unfortunately whatever rosy reports we’re getting has been somewhat dimmed by the news that Shemar Turner, the Bears’ 62nd overall pick, severely injured his ankle and is out for a minimum of a month.

    That’s a bummer since many like myself had high hopes for his rookie campaign. Heck, Greg Gabriel comped him to Tommie Harris!

    Won’t be T-Harris on one ankle, and ankles are notoriously easy to re-injure especially if rushed back.

    I had a friend who seemed to sprain his ankle every other month once he suffered his first severe sprain. I’m no Dr., but from my experience they seem to work like concussions or shoulders popping out. After that first major one, it seems much easier to reaggravate going forward.

    I’m not so certain where this leaves the Bears at DT. They aren’t exactly thin, but Andrew Billings is big, 30, and coming off an injured ’24 season. If he or Grady Jarrett go down, we’ll be seeing way more of Zach Pickens or the immortal Chris Williams in the mix.

    Last week I would’ve bet Pickens wouldn’t even make the cut. Now? Not so sure.

    Maybe Christian Wilkins, freak or not, becomes more of an option.

    I mean, Charles Haley used to jerk off in the locker room and meetings while talking about teammate wives!

    What’s a little Wilkins’ forehead kissing from time to time?

    [Guess we should ask WHICH head Wilkins was trying to kiss though…nttawwt]

    In other news, here’s Greg Gabriel’s in-depth breakdown of padded practices.

    Transcribing or even summing up would take too much writing, but Gabriel basically echoed what I wrote yesterday.

    Don’t get too carried away by the micro.

    For instance, we heard over the weekend that Montez Sweat came in practically untouched.

    Oh oh, time to worry about Darnell Wright!

    Then later it was reported that was by design.

    Oh, NVM!

    A lot of times the coaches are making it harder than it might otherwise be. It’s like Maverick hitting Mach-10 then pushing it. Sometimes gotta crash and burn to find out where the limits are.

    That’s what summer practices are for.

    Other tidbits.

    1. Vets tend to pace themselves in July. Roberto Garza was an infamous ‘pacer’. He asked Lovie once, ‘You want me to last 16 games? During the season is when I’ll give it all’

    2. Gabriel seems to think that Kiran Amegadjie won’t make a good OG. ‘He’s got 36+” arms. In my experience, olinemen with arms that long tend to struggle inside. It’s that much harder to get their arms up in a split second’

    3. Thinks Austin Booker’s frame is a bit too slim, and deep dish ain’t going to change that.

    4. Georgie ain’t bringing back the Honey Bears; however, the obscure trivia I didn’t know?

    Apparently the Bills would only hire cheerleaders [the Jills] who were married!

    I guess the logic was – cut down on player hanky panky.

    That’s funny.

    If you prefer a quick concise Bears’ update, view this one instead.

    Tweet of the day:

    RIP

  • Camp, July 28th

    Camp, July 28th

    We’ll likely get more info today, but not much happened over the weekend. More of the usual ‘camp reports’ which should be taken with a gigantic grain of salt since no one really knows the coaching agenda.

    I once heard a story that Bill Parcells warned the coaching staff the day BEFORE practice that he was really going to lay into the offensive line because, well, for Bill Parcells’ reasons.

    Sure enough, practice ensued, and of course some olinemen fucked up because, ya know, it’s practice, and Parcells right on cue just goes off on the hapless mark and punishes the line.

    Parcells shoulda got an academy award for it.

    The coaches all must’ve been dying inside, but they played their part.

    Now if you were covering the Gmen in the 80s and saw this, you’d write some headline like:

    “Parcells Furious with Underperforming Offensive Line! Is it time to worry?”

    I mean, it was theatre. A lot of coaching IS micromanaged theatre.

    So keep that in mind next time Ben Johnson goes off on the offense, or throws some shade at a player on the podium. Sometimes it’s just a way to motivate or squeeze the most out of talent, nothing more.

    With that in mind, here’s some camp catch-up.

    But perhaps the biggest ‘Hot Take’ was Dan Orlovsky arguing that it’ll likely take YEARS for Caleb Williams to master Ben Johnson’s offense, so fans shouldn’t expect much out of him this season. Lotta Bear fans didn’t want to hear THAT.

    In non-Bears news, the Christian Watkins saga got freakier. Apparently he wasn’t cut just because of meds, but some odd incident with a teammate no one really wants to talk about. Same ole Raiders…

    Twit of the day

  • Camp, July 25th

    Camp, July 25th

    Tis the time of year to overreact to every dropped pass, every soft muscle injury, every INT, every obscenity a coach shouts…

    We all know the drill. I recall summer practices. They were brutal. We practiced on a field that was about as much dirt as grass. It was at least 90 degrees often, sun melting the helmets we inherited from the 70s. I can still smell the pungent stink from the sticky white padding.

    Our coaches made us do laps, hit the sleds, and if we screwed up, 100 yard crabcrawls which still makes my body quiver 30 years later.

    My position coach would line-up CBs vs WRs to box 3 times, or just hit each other as hard as possible for no discernible reason. I suspect they had bets going on.

    They barked at us to back-peddle uphill. My cleats snagged a rock, and I stumbled. Secondary coach, sporting his wrap-around Oakleys whilst chewing sunflower seeds, sneered, “Had to be a corner back…”

    One of the more memorable drills was our position coach [a former pitcher] standing about 5 yards away, making us put our hands up like a diamond, then throwing the football at our face as fast as possible.

    We had to take our off helmet for this drill, so if the football squeezed through your hands, it hit your face full force.

    Then we had hell week, aka, two-a-days.

    Good times!

    I sometimes wonder if the modern NFL player is put through all that misery. Not likely. They’re probably way more scientific, focused, and detailed than what mustachioed men in spandex shorts inflicted on us mere amateurs.

    One undeniable effect though:

    Trauma-bonding

    In Bears’ news…

    Word around the campfire is that Ben Johnson does not suffer tomfoolery. He seems to be getting frustrated at the offense not clicking how it should.

    That’s fine by me.

    In fact, I don’t really care about ‘coaching style’. The running joke is that if the former HC was fat, the next one will be skinny.

    Whether the HC is a hard-ass, player’s coach, cutting edge, or old school…

    I don’t really give a damn.

    These are pros getting PAID. Give fans results, and they’re not going to quibble if it’s Andy Reid, Bill Belichick or Ted Lasso.

    We found our new Dan Braverman!

    I’d be remiss to not relay that Raiders have shockingly cut Christian Wilkins. He’s definitely enticing, but apparently they disagreed on whether he needed surgery or not. Bears’ DT room seems full already, so I’m not expecting him at Halas anytime soon.

    Some Swift

    Misc. Cool plays!

    Hey, having Pope on Bears’ side can’t be bad, right?

    Alrighty then, enjoy your weekend, jabrones.

  • Camp Commences, etc

    Camp Commences, etc

    Things are ramping up. Camp started, and nearly all Bears have checked in. One notable absentee is Jaylon Johnson who is on the NFI [none football injury] list and will likely miss a few weeks.

    How injured JJ truly is, who knows? Maybe this buys Ryan Poles time to come up with a solution to a possibly disgruntled JJ.

    My solution?

    Pay him for turnovers. $500K per FF, INT, or even strip sack. JJ gets a bunch of those and suddenly his contract is…saucy.

    This won’t happen. Or heck, maybe Poles already bumps his contract based on TOs, but it would incentivize, that’s for sure; besides, given that JJ is not exactly Prime Time, Poles won’t have to worry much about breaking the bank.

    Bears made some corresponding moves:

    Tanoh Kpassagon is a big boy [6’7, 290]. I mean, how much Arby’s would Austin Booker have to eat to get that yoked?

    Tre Flowers is also big for a CB/S [6’3, 200]. We’re beginning to get a feel for the template both Allen and BJ prefer, and it seems to be, “The bigger, the better” [insert ‘that’s what she said’ joke here].

    Here’s a quick breakdown on the moves,

    Oh, and to top it off, the goal for Caleb is to hit 4k passing, 70% comp, scoring on drives, winning games, curing cancer, and finally releasing GTA 6…

  • Jaylon Johnson Wants a Raise?

    Jaylon Johnson Wants a Raise?

    So, all three Bear 2nd RDers are locked up. Only Burden negotiated a fully-guaranteed contract, but that seems to be what the market dictated.

    NFL is a deadline driven business. No coincidence all the dominoes started falling right before camp started. I’m sure every team acted independently in nearly a 24-hr window[wink wink].

    Maybe the agents received extra lap-dances to close the deals.

    However, just as one drama is closed, another possibly opens.

    Apparently, Jaylon Johnson is not content with his current contract and didn’t report to camp. [edit. JJ now now on NFI list. Won’t be expected for a few weeks].

    If you dig into the numbers, you can understand JJ’s gripe.

    I’m all for players getting paid, but even for me it’s hard to get behind players ‘holding out’ after they signed the dotted-line. A part of me grumbles, “You signed the fucking contract. Play it out.” though I know the opposing argument always follows, “Oh, and it’s ok when GMs dump players before their contract’s over?”

    I suppose the easiest solution might be [shorter?] fully-guaranteed contracts.

    Say 3-yr fully-guaranteed.

    Players take on the risk of injury, but the payoff is that 3 yrs later, the market will pay more.

    An extreme version of this was Derrell Revis who, if memory serves, basically signed one year deals [for like three seasons] betting on himself and made out like a bandit.

    Of course the flipside to that is a player’s achilles going out or an awful season, then next year his market value won’t be as high, which is why most prefer those longer 5 year deals.

    The GMs tend to protect themselves in the last two-ish years of such deals, so if they cut said player, cap penalty is minimal.

    That’s the GM-Agent dance as of now, but maybe that model needs to change.

    Either way, it seems most of the team is reporting for camp, so that’s great news for the Bears and if Jaylon Johnson shows up to camp, it’ll be much-a-do about nada.

    As always, stay tuned…

  • News! Trapilo and Turner Finally Sign

    News! Trapilo and Turner Finally Sign

    So, actual Bears’ news, and it’s 2/3rds good!

    I’m sure you heard, but Ozzy Trapilo and Shemar Turner both signed, leaving only Luther Burden III unsigned

    [update. Burden is now signed to fully guaranteed contract].

    This was more or less expected. Still, it’s comforting to finally lock ’em down and not worry about some prolonged camp hold-out for three rookie prospects.

    Most surmise guys like Burden are waiting for Tyler Shough to sign to create some precedent or benchmark to go off, but who knows? Wide receivers tend to be prima donnas, and Burden in specific may believe he’s a 1st RDer.

    One reason Luther fell though was ‘character concern’, as in ‘Burden seemed entitled and loafed his final college season’, so it’s understandable Halas may be reluctant to fully guarantee his contract especially after Quinshon Judkins was arrested on a misdemeanor battery and domestic violence charge.

    Guess us fans will have to wait, but hopefully it gets done before he misses any camp.

    Boy, almost makes me miss the good ole days when Cliff Stein would wrap up the entire rookie class lickety-split.

    There’s actually lots more NFL news dropping. Here’s a brief synapsis.

    Lloyd Howell, corporate hack, has resigned. That’s not going to make a lot of waves, but I think it’s a great move for the players going forward. To say Howell had some ‘conflict of interest’ is an understatement. Hopefully the NFLPA hires a real executive director who cares more about the players than own bank account.

    This meme is flooding the interwebz. Apparently this CEO got caught with his sidepiece at a Coldplay concert. Maybe they were more embarrassed being caught at a Coldplay concert…

    Beep Beep…Beep beep…
    BREAKING NEWS [7/18/25]

    Luther Burden III now signed, fully guaranteed, meaning he’ll report to camp [if healthy].

  • Zen 5

    Zen 5

    The birds always find their way to their nests. The river always finds its way to the ocean.
    – Zen Proverb

  • Ghassan the Nut-man by Guest Reg IBNO

    Ghassan the Nut-man by Guest Reg IBNO

    In grad school I had a fellowship to study Arabic in Syria. Even for a seasoned Middle East scholar like myself, it was an eye-opening experience.

    I lived near a couple little corner shops–basically Syrian bodegas–right next to each other. For some reason, I mostly patronized the shop owned and run by Ghassan, who was one of the nicest people I’d ever met – not just in Syria. Snow-white hair combed straight back, with a charcoal grey mustache; he was a gentle grandpa type. His shop was in the Christian quarter, but I wasn’t sure if he was Christian or Muslim, and he didn’t give hints one way or the other. He always had a smile, and and displayed Jobian patience even with my stumbling Arabic.

    Ghassan’s shop had bins by the counter filled with various roasted nuts, and my colleagues and I had fallen into a routine of climbing up to the roof of our building in the evenings, having a beer and snacking on nuts. So most days included a stop to buy from Ghassan the Nut-man.

    One day I walked into Ghassan’s shop to buy something small, but I didn’t have enough coinage while my next-smallest denomination was a bill worth about $40. Ghassan couldn’t (or wouldn’t) break the large bill for such a small purchase, and instead he told me to go ahead and take the goods–maybe a dollar’s worth – and I could pay “next time.”

    “Tomorrow,” I agreed, thanking him, and left.

    The next day I was in, again buying something small, and as I put my money down on the counter for him, I added in the amount I owed him. He pushed those coins back at me, smiling shyly, repeating the price for today’s purchase. I reminded him I owed him from yesterday, thinking maybe he had forgotten. He smiled kindly and just replied, “Next time.”

    This ritual continued for a few weeks. I’d come in and buy something, try to give him what I owed, and he’d just smile and shake his head, “next time.”

    The summer didn’t last. Israel started bombing Lebanon and Syria. Everything exploded. Ghassan, ever the smiling cipher, had a Hizbullah flag hanging outside his window – as did most of the businesses and some of the homes in the Christian quarter. A photography studio across the street exhibited big pictures of Bashar al-Assad and Hasan Nusrullah (the leader of Hizbullah) in the window as well.

    Damascus was still relatively safe even as refugees poured in from Lebanon; nevertheless our program managers and bosses recommended we all leave, and offered to pay our bills to get home early. The nascent war had jammed up flights going West, so for me and my colleagues, this meant we could get paid to take the Long Way Home. A couple guys went to Cairo for a few weeks. My office-mate went to the Gulf to get a head start on some dissertation research. I was going to take the train to Istanbul and hang out for a while before flying home.
    So on my last day in Damascus, I stopped in Ghassan’s shop to buy some almonds for the bus ride to Aleppo, where I’d pick up the train to Istanbul. Again we did our routine.

    I put extra money on the counter, and he pushed it back to me, refraining, “Next time.”

    “I owe you this money, but you keep saying ‘next time,’ “ I replied.

    “Yes, and you keep coming back? I’m a smart businessman, no?” he laughed.

    I laughed, too, and pushed the money back across the counter. “But I’m leaving tomorrow because of the war, and I owe you this.”

    His smile fell, but he pushed the money back to me, saying, “Next time, God willing.” He put his hand on his heart, adding, “Safe journey, my friend.”

    “God willing,” I repeated, with a lump in my throat, taking my almonds and Ghassan’s money, and left.

  • PFF Grades the Bears Oline as #4. No, you’re not high, you read that right

    PFF Grades the Bears Oline as #4. No, you’re not high, you read that right

    Pro Football Focus [PFF] seems to be omnipresent when discussing the NFL nowadays. For some reason, humans crave an ‘objective’ framework from which to interpret life. Something ‘outside ourselves’ to course-correct what our senses are inputting. What do you think the 10 commandments are?

    The general public assumes that RenĂ© Descartes concluded, “Cogito, ergo sum” [I think, therefore I am], but actually, he proclaimed, “Dubito, ergo cogito, ergo sum” [I DOUBT, therefore I think, therefore I am]. Something to ponder.

    I envision Descartes staring intently into the flame of his candle, emersed in total darkness, desperately fumbling for some objective proof, a Mathematical God, some Unmoved Mover, to save him from his Evil Genius, to slip him the red pill to awaken from the Matrix…us football fans must settle for PFF.

    So here’s PFF grading the entire league. If you want to skip to the Bears’ portion, fast forward ≈1hr1min

    Shout out to Bodhran:

    https://www.pff.com/news/nfl-2025-nfl-offensive-line-rankings

    Some thoughts…

    A scout relayed that he graded an olinemen low coming out of college. Then that Olinemen ends up on the Peyton Colts; he mutters, “Fuck. now I’m going to look stupid when he makes the PB.”

    The Bears oline talent is now sufficient. It takes years of a smart GM [which Bears don’t currently employ] to properly get return on investment in the trenches. Ryan Poles had to apply some Gorilla Glue to patch up the gigantic holes he created through ineptitude.

    That being said, like the scout expressed anecdotally.

    1. A smart QB can make the oline look a lot better than it otherwise might be

    2. A creative HC/OC can scheme around weaknesses [basically do the opposite of what Mike Martz tried with Webbnation]

    3. A talented HB can hit the optimum holes and/or break tackles

    Unfortunately, we don’t quite know if we have a smart QB, HC/OC, and Bears definitely don’t roster an elite HB [NTM it’s a brand new scheme], so for this Oline to dramatically improve, mucho must synergize [including staying healthy].

    But hey, tis the off-season of hopium.

    EDIT. I’m burying the lead as the Bears unwisely extended Ryan Poles‘ contract. That will get its own post soon, but for now, I can characterize how I feel about the move through a flick I’m watching for the 100th time. Halas plays the German Soldier while Bear fans are Mellish…

    “Gib’ auf, du hast keine chance. Lass’ es uns beenden. Es ist einfacher fĂŒr dich, viel einfacher. Du wirst sehen, es ist gleich vorbei.”

    Translates to:

    “Give up, you don’t stand a chance. Let’s end this here. It will be easier for you, much easier. You’ll see, it will be over quickly.”

  • TBT. Hester-v-Rams

    TBT. Hester-v-Rams

    Still slow, so enjoy some HOFer Devin Hester.

    I always liked Kam Chancellor. He’s one of those safeties MB loved. Yuge, athletic, and mean. I’m surprised he didn’t suffer as many severe concussions as Brisker.

    Speaking of which…