Da Dos

Category: Sports

  • Opening Day Thread! Go Lions?

    Opening Day Thread! Go Lions?

  • Ty-Writer Drops Bombs!

    Ty-Writer Drops Bombs!

    At this point it would be negligent of me to NOT share Tyler Dunne’s trilogy “House of Dysfunction.”

    I won’t cover it all, and TBH, it’s a bit of a bummer reading this right before the season kicks-off. It’s like sniffing a turd emanating from a wrapped gift before Christmas.

    Nevertheless, wishful thinking is no way to prance through life. So buckle up; here’s a summary:

    Part I

    1. Caleb Williams seems disrespectful towards the coaches: Waldron, Brown, and likely Eberflus.

    2. The Vets didn’t like Caleb, a rook, busting on the scene, making coaches and vets conform to him.

    3. Caleb might be football dumb; apparently his mental struggles were so extreme, Dunne muses if Caleb actually possesses a learning disability.

    4. Caleb is not just entitled and learning disabled, but LAZY.

    The Bears offense devolved into an exercise of trial and error to fit whatever the USC rookie demanded.

    All of which would’ve been manageable if Williams was willing to work. He was not.


    Part II

    1. Ryan Poles rigged the selection. Like Kim Jung Un, he let his biases be known and expected the lackies to follow. Here’s a reenactment.

    2. Poles’ autocratic manipulations essentially made Caleb Williams the only viable option at QB despite it being arguably the strongest QB draft since ’83.

    “To those seeking a vibrant debate, these draft meetings were a farce.”

    Part III has yet to drop, but this is their outline:

    In Part III, we zoom out: Who’s to blame? The Bears have become an organization repellent to independent thought. The GM inherited a bad situation and managed to make it worse with a 15-36 record. All roads in this league tend to lead back to ownership.

    I won’t rehash my thoughts. If you’re curious, just click on the previous post; however, I do disagree with Jeff on one point.

    How in the world can this news, if true, NOT impact Ben Johnson’s tenure?

    If the QB is entitled, challenged and lazy, what can the HC do to fix THAT?

    What kind of culture will those traits create?

    [Didn’t we get a sneak peak of that last season when rumors swirled that the vets wanted Bagent to start over Caleb?]

    That being said, as a fellow late-bloomer, this doesn’t mean that Caleb is Jeff-George-Leaf-Manziel-Fated. Even if all those reports are legit, something can click inside Caleb to turn it all around.

    Happens all the time. Everyone loves a 2nd act.

    Still, I expect Poles and sycophants to vigorously deny, deflect, and distort the details because that’s what ‘strong-men’ do when criticized, exposed or challenged.

    Heck, maybe Poles will claim that Dunne is a Detroit constructed AI to undermine the Bears’ season and his reign – Fake News!

    I would absolutely love for some intrepid reporter to ask Mercedes Lewis, Keenan Allen or DeMarcus Walker if the trilogy is accurate. The current Bears like DJ will likely lie through their teeth. That’s fine, but those ex-Bears are free to relay the truth.

    And as with all things, the truth will out.
    The die is cast. The chips are all-in.

    Like those Turkmenistan cabinet members, we too are now forced to cheer, root and clap as Poles raises the fu-bar to another level…

  • The Bears are Finishing Last in the NFCN. AGAIN…

    The Bears are Finishing Last in the NFCN. AGAIN…

    As y’all know, I’m new to this whole Blogging biz. So, I snoop about. Seems like everyone is making a bunch of predictions. I was going to do some in-depth 4-parter… no need.

    Poles whiffed on the previous HC, Flus. And YES, as Jeff the ultimate Bears’ insider has stated emphatically, Poles WANTED Flus; furthermore, Poles vouched for Flus the off-season he should’ve been canned.

    In La Cosa Nostra, when mobsters vouched for Joe Pistone, AKA, Donnie Brasco, they were KILLED. Dead wrong was literal.

    Seems the least that should’ve happened to Poles is a pink-slip. Yet, he somehow stuck like shit on soles, and stunningly even managed to get extended! So Bears…

    Poles hiring, and backing Flus stunted the Bears on multiple levels. But this isn’t the only way Poles has hurt the Bears. In addition, his mediocrity [at best] has left them bereft of not only blue-chip talent, but DEPTH.

    Now the chickens have come home to roost.

    Poles tried his best to compensate for his misses, doing what most mid-GMs do to salvage their rosters and careers – trades for players other teams developed since the Bears can’t develop their own. Plus FA shopping spree.

    Nevertheless, it’s still not enough, is it?

    Too many questions persist: can Sweat rebound, or is he essentially the new Alex Brown? Can Dayo, ya know, sack QBs, or should that $ have been funneled to possibly Trey Hendrickson or Micah Parsons? WTF’s going on at LT? Was Wright overdrafted and merely an avg RT? [cough, Carter, cough] If Jonah Jackson was so good, why did McVey happily send him packing? What happens if Brisker gets another concussion? What if Swift or Byard go down?

    And the million dollar question:

    Can Caleb become better than Jayden Daniels?

    Poles didn’t draft Caleb #1 overall to be Kyler Murray or worse than Bo Nix.

    NTM , no matter how much Ben Johnson is praised, we simply don’t know if he’s an NFL-winning HC.

    Remember when Chip Kelly stormed into the league in a whirlwind of praises?

    Meanwhile, the Lions, Vikings and Packers pose far fewer questions. They won 15, 14 and 11 games, respectively, and all are legit SB contenders.

    Then the lowly Bears.

    That’s a tough road to slog with so many unknowns, lack of All-Pros, and paper-thin depth at key positions under a rookie HC.

    As such, my predicalator computes…Bears finish last in NFCN.

    Now, this might seem pessimistic at first, but don’t throw your laptop at your TV quite yet!

    If the Bears were in a weaker division, say, the NFC or AFC South, I’d argue they could win the division, but that’s not our reality.

    They can win 9 games, yet be last and out of the playoffs. In that scenario, we can still be optimistic as long as the team appears heading in the right direction.

    This is like a middle-weight being thrown into a division with prime Sugar Ray, Hagler, Hearns and Duran – via con dios…

    How the Bears don’t finish last:

    Like Dr. Strange navigating multitudinous futures, I’ll offer some possibilities where Bears leap-frog their rivals. I’ll try to leave the obvious ‘if player-x gets INJed.’


    1. Lions. They’ve been remarkably consistent. In some ways, they’re like the Bills. A blue-collar gritty out. However, both their lauded OC and DC left, and no one knows exactly how it will negatively impact them. It can’t be good, but how bad can it make them?

    2. Vikings. Perhaps the biggest X-factor in the division – is JJ McCarthy a franchise QB? If he’s not, or even just starts off slowly like Bryce Young, well, Vikings could drop to the dredges.

    3. Packers. Much like the Vikings, their future firmly rests on the arm of Jordan Love and the back of Micah Parsons. I just feel something askew with that team. They were a blocked FG away from the Bears sweeping them last season, and they couldn’t beat the Bears in the finale despite the Bears playing for only pride. Jordan Love could be their Sexy Rexy. A streaky, sometimes INJed QB, who can push a team far but always tumultuously. Plus, if Parson’s back is more messed up than previously assumed, then that truly cripples the team as he cost two first rounders and an astounding $46M against the cap.

    4. Bears. Throw all the doubts out. Ignore the lack of a premiere pass rusher, questionable LT, thin depth, rookie HC…

    If Caleb becomes Mahomes, then game on. Not only won’t they finish last, it’s entirely plausible they overtake the Lions and make a strong playoff-push.

    Look at the Bengals. Their ’21 team was OK, but I don’t believe many predicted they’d make it to the SB. Bengals like the Lions were a joke for decades. They made the SB mainly on the phenomena that is Joe Burrow [and to a lesser extent, Ja’Marr Chase].

    If Caleb throws for 4,600, 34TDs, runs for another 500 while earning an 108 QB rating, then it won’t matter what the Lions, Vikings, Packers, or any team honestly, does because Caleb will simply impose his greatness, and all the D and specials have to do is not suck.

    Hey, a gal can dream…

  • What Are You Thinking, Jerrah!

    What Are You Thinking, Jerrah!

    This is the Puke’s version of the Khalil Mack Trade. Remember how elated Bears’ fans felt after that went down? I think Waffle rosterbated for a month straight, ’85 dreams stirred, lots of kids and dogs likely still running around Chicago named Mack.

    Well, Green Bay just got their Mack Attack in Micah Parsons paying him a whopping $47m/yr; $188m/4yr total.

    To make the deal worse, the Pack only had to give up two 1st rounders [likely mids or later] and a soon to be 30 yr old DT Kenny Clark.

    Micah Parsons is 26.
    He’s notched 13, 13.5, 14 and 12 sacks [52.5 total] in his career.

    It would take Booker and Dom-Rom about 50 years each to match Parsons at their rate.

    Bears will have to block Parsons with Braxton/Kiran/Ozzy/Benedet for the next 4-10 years barring some bizarre twist of fate.

    No denying it: Packers just got a whole lot better, trade-raping the Cowboys.

    Maybe this is karmic justice for the Cowboys trade-raping the Vikings in what is still infamously known as “The Herschel Walker Trade” [If so, Cowboys still have more to pay, though perhaps the universe bakes playoff choking into the equation].

    How did this unfold?

    Well, as with most things Cowboys, the twists-n-turns, subplots, and drama rival any soap opera, but this concisely sums it up.

    TLDW. Jerry would often prey on player’s massive egos dealing ‘man to man’ without agents, usually getting what he wants.

    The more interesting part is when Jerry essentially says, ‘Michael Irvin dealt with me directly, and maybe he didn’t net as much as possible, but getting me as a business asset, advisor and friend was better long run’

    It’s kind of a way around the cap like when corporations paid to stay in Trump hotels then never even checked in – or grossly overpaying for Hunter Biden paintings.

    The problem this time?

    Well, Jerry isn’t going to be around for another 30 years, so players like Dak, Lamb and especially Parsons weren’t going to be duped into that trap. They insisted on their agents dealing firmly believing in Robert Frost’s advice:

    Good fences make good neighbors

    While Jerry tragically forgot about two major rules:

    Never make business personal – Michael Corleone

    Pride cometh before the fall – Proverbs 16:18

    Even the goddamn Browns remembered those lessons and managed to keep Garrett.

    THE BROWNS.

    And indeed, the Boys have fallen.
    One may argue that they do a great job of drafting and developing, but even so, does Jerry even have THREE years left? He could up and die come January when his team chokes again in the playoffs.

    To add salt to the wound, Jerry traded Parsons in conference to the team that eliminated them from the playoffs in ’14, ’16 and ’23. I mean, WTF Jerrah!

    Who does he think is going to be competing for that last playoff spot? Or to host a home game during playoffs, or even if things go right for both, to finish #1 in NFC with the bye and homefield advantage at stake?

    Hell, the Cowboys are facing the Packers in exactly a month – you don’t think Parsons is circling that date like Rocky circled Drago?

    For fuck’s sake Jerry, at least trade a top 3 pass rusher in his prime to the AFC.

    The only hope for us Bears’ fans [without getting too sinister – remember – karma, Kramer…] is that this actually DOES turn out like the Mack trade in which, Mack joins a team that had an overrated QB/HC, then sorta throttles down ending in mediocrity and no Super Bowls.

    It could happen. Everyone is expecting Jordan Love to rebound, but why?

    In ’22 Love played 4 games, finishing with 1 INT and an 83 QBR.

    In ’23 and ’24, Love finished with 11/11 INTs and 62/69 QBR while also missing two games.

    That seems to be who he is.

    In ’18, when Mack was traded to Bears, Trubisky finished with 12 INTs and a 77 QBR.

    Oh, and Matt Nagy won Coach of the Year.

    Huh. Now that I think of it, maybe we should be happy the Parsons’ Pendejada so eerily resembles the Mack trade.

    It will only make the disappointment that much deeper and bitter.

  • Twitter Thurs

    Twitter Thurs

    Some interesting twits of the week:

  • 53 Man Roster. Deadline: 3PM (CT)

    53 Man Roster. Deadline: 3PM (CT)

    Prepare to be underwhelmed!

    Today is a friendly reminder of why Poles SHOULD have been terminated along with Flus, but hey…

    I don’t expect any fireworks for the Bears. Poles’ big moves were Dayo, Jarrett, Thuney and Dalman [Count Sweat too. All because he couldn’t draft blue-chip players at premium positions].

    I know everyone’s going to be dreaming about some Micah Parsons mega-deal, but

    A. Parsons doesn’t even fit Allen’s preference of a big DE.

    B. Jerrah will want Poles’ first born. Though I admit, he’s gone full Al-Davis, so who the hell knows with him anymore.

    I’m sure Da Dos bloggers will keep us all up to date, so check in throughout the day.

    Every Bears’ Fan Today
  • Rapid Fire PS#3

    Rapid Fire PS#3

    This will be short since I left the PS Game 3 thread up over the weekend.

    1. Pass-rush was non-existent. Dayo especially to me looked like a JAG. Everyone else disappeared. Watching Billings try to chase down dad-runner Mahomes was like Benny Hill chasing around bikini-clad buxoms.

    2. The first team O struggled vs first team KC D. Granted, Thuney wasn’t in, but it just looked sloppy and, well, Nagy-esque.

    3. Even if “PS wins don’t matter”, I still put forth that win was good for overall morale. They played in a hostile environment, clawing back.

    Bills, Chiefs, Eagles, Ravens, etc don’t need PS wins.

    Poles’ Bears have done little but lose, so even it’s a PS game, it’s some momentum.

    Better than losing.

    On Blog note, the cuts will happen manana. We may see some early rumors and whatnot, so I’ll likely just post a ‘cut thread’ for Tues.

  • PS Game #3. Chiefs

    PS Game #3. Chiefs

    Thread. You know the routine.

    Apparently KC is going to play their #1s, so the Bears followed suit. I think more teams don’t want to come out totally rusty that 1st game. It feels like it takes almost 3 QTRs of an opener for the Os to wake up, which is why we get opening day shockers like the Pats over Bengals.
    I suspect the starters won’t play much. A series if it’s good, maybe two if they go 3 and out or are sloppy. Let’s hope Chicago keeps the momentum going.

    In other news, Bagent gets extended. This is well-deserved, and his rational is interesting. Instead of trying to be a starter elsewhere [I mean, Jesus, I’d start Bagent over Daniel freaking Jones], he argues that studying under Ben Johnson will make him a better QB, and as such, a more desirable commodity, so the BJ affect already paying off.

    I love Bagent. He’s a great backup, and relatively cheap now. Here’s his emotional reaction to the extension.

  • Gruden Grinding NFCN

    Gruden Grinding NFCN

    Chucky breaking down NFCN, starts off with Bears.

    Some interesting tidbits:

    Bears haven’t had a winning season since ’18 [12-4].

    Bears have finished LAST in past 7 of 11 seasons.

    Bears have only had a Top 10 Offense three times in past 30 years.

    Bears only team to never have a 4K passer or 30 TD QB.

    ‘It’s time for all the players Poles got [in CAR trade]- Caleb, Wright, DJ, Stevenson and Burden – to step up’

    Lions went for it on 4rth down 110x in last three [BJ] years.

    ’24 Bears O were 32nd in yards [4,820],31st in passing yards [3,552], 25th in rushing [1,734] while giving up a whopping 68 sacks [3rd most EVER].

    “That’s like getting kicked in the groin 68 times.”

    Detroit in ’24 ran the most plays under center [56%]. The Bears with Williams only 84 snaps out of 575 attempts. [Approx 14%].

    ’24 Detroit lead the league in PA 37%; Bears only PAed 18% [30th].

    PA should help the RBs accelerate and find lanes.

    Should be way more PS motion. “RCE – Recognize, communicate, execute”

    Caleb was off target 21% of passes [PFF]
    Esp deep. Completed 14/68 passes over 20 yds 23% [sic] My math computes 20.5%

    Of the 68 sacks, 28 of them Caleb held ball for over 5 secs.

    Dennis Allen will use a lot of exotic looks. Cover 1/2/3, pre/post coverages, CBs pressing, man, zero blitzes.

    Bears allowed 17.2 points in first seven games.

    Last ten games allowed 25.1 ppg.

    2,317 yds allowed [28th]. 4.8 rush avg allowed [29th].

    Edmunds youngest player [27] in NFL history to start 100 games. 100+ tackles in first seven seasons.

    “I think the Bears’ D fell off because Brisker was out. Reminds me of old Bears’ safety, Fencik, Plank…”

    [I suspect the running D went to shite after Big Billings went down].

    Tory Taylor broke Bears’ net-punting record – 41.6



  • Rapid Fire Post PS Game #2 – Bills

    Rapid Fire Post PS Game #2 – Bills

    My overall impression?

    Excellent. I think only one starter [Dalman] committed a penalty while Caleb played.

    BJ came out swinging with a 12 personnel PA Boot/pass to Loveland.

    Boom.

    Clean. Effective. Message sent.

    Then Caleb lined up in shotgun, barking calls, which answers some of my questions about who’s going to be making line adjustments, him or Dalman.

    Seems like Caleb.

    Wide open seam route. Boom.


    In fact, that could be the title of the PS Game for Bears:

    EVERYONE WIDE ASS OPEN!

    It was astonishing to witness. We’re used to seeing this from GB or other quality teams.

    For Bears getting a reception was always like pulling teeth.

    In this game it felt that every receiver, not just the starters, were open at will.

    Then Olamide Zaccheaus runs a beautiful route, catching the ball in stride, shaking the defender on his way to a 36 yard TD.

    Couldn’t have scripted it any better.

    1st drive [92 yds]
    Every receiver WIDE fucking open.
    Caleb hitting them in stride
    A bit more shotgun than I expected, but Caleb is on fire
    Loveland and Olamide look like they can separate

    Game Highlights

    Other thoughts.

    – Tori still can’t coffin corner. Needs to work on that.

    – Returners and gunners concerning me

    – Bagent sharp, instinctive, mobile

    – Hankins did ok but left. Brown/Wheeler performed well at HB, but I doubt they make the 53.

    – Neither Swift nor Monangai suited up; the latter was a surprise, but Poles during the in-game interview stated nothing to worry about

    – Booker looked ok but went to the blue tent then walked back to locker room [update]

    – Burden blocked his ass off in goaline. BJ set him in motion, and he drove the Safety back twice. He’s big, physical and twitchy. The type of WR Irish always pined for every August [RIP Cameron Meredith, Kevin White, Daniel Brown, Wims…]


    – On a down note, CB Terrell Smith carted off. CB is the one position Bears had depth, but with JJ nursing an INJ, and whatever the hell was going on with Zah Frazier [who played and nearly blocked a punt]; it’s something to monitor

    – Also, Greg Olsen is 1000X better than Brady

    I also believe this is the first time in 31 years the Bears have shut-out a team in PS.

    However, as Dr. Rev Huge Bear Penis reminded us in the last thread ‘Bears beat the Bills last year in PS 33-6‘ [How’d that turn out?].

    Oh, and Eberflus was 8-2 in PS, so, maybe we need to slow down on the circle-jerk.

    Still, seeing the offense click that way was sooooooo cathartic.

    No back-to-back TOs, whiffed blocks, delay of games, stupid challenges, cutesy bubble screens getting blown up on 3rd and 1, presnap dumbfuckery, or in general, no ‘WTF moments’

    Everything appeared purposeful, logical and lethal.

    Great momentum to ride to MNF.